Almost...

"I don't trust air I can't see."
- Capt Ramsey (Gene Hackman in Crimson Tide)

One thing I've noticed since leaving La Macarena is the quality of air in the north compared with the south. Where I was living, down near Cll 26 and Ave de Caracas, the air smelled of exhaust thanks to countless 15+ year old buses and busettas. And the area near the airport, where I taught the petroleum executive before his move, was all industrial so the air there was thick as well.

But it didn't hit me until I woke up Monday morning at my friend Jurgen's apartment. I looked out his southern-facing window, and saw a band of brownish-yellow in the distance. As I looked to the west, the band lightened and faded away. And when I walked to his northern-facing window there was no band whatsoever. I wish I took a photo, but I didn't.

Though I assure you the differnce in air quality is striking. This fact is most evident when you blow your nose, but I won't get into further detail as I'm sure you get the point.

And to that end Maroma, Bogota's hottest new nightclub, features a retractable roof. Yes, think Toronto Skydome. Every so often, the roof opens and the heat generated from a few hundred hot, dancing bodies is released. The other night, I looked up as the roof opened and between the flashing lasers I could actually see stars. The sight was quite amazing. I tried to snap a photo, but they didn't come out at all. Sorry, guess you'll have to see for yourself when you visit.

Casa de Geoff!

I am told that I can expect to receive the keys this week! I can't wait to finally have my own home. Here are a few pics to get you acquainted. Already, I'm expecting my first guests in mid-November: Tony, Mario and perhaps even Mook.




To the right is my feeble attempt to create a floorplan of the apartment. Here are some highlights:

• The top left gray box is the balcony
• The top right corner is the fireplace
• Back grayish area is the private terrace, which is HUGE!
• The center room facing the terrace is the guest room/office (feel free to visit anytime!)

We'll see if I can get all the paperwork squared away this week. I sure hope so, because the Colombian Peso (COP) is now converting at almost 2400:1 USD. I'd love to take advantage of the current rates. When I first visited in July the COP/USD exchange rate was around 1800.

CrossFit Bogota

The other day at the globogym I've been going to, I got word from a friend that they were not happy with me. They didn't like that I was "training" (aka working out with) my friends in their gym, which made the other trainers jealous. Oh well. So, they kicked me out. The manager told me that I am no longer welcome there, though I didn't pay attention since I knew what was coming. Thank God I paid with my Amex vs. cash, DK that trade!

Anyway, it gives me even more incentive to get the gym open for business as all my friends will cease going to globogym in favor of CrossFit Bogota. I'm expecting to receive the keys to the former bar that will become CrossFit Bogota, my first business venture in Colombia. To everyone's amazement, it has only taken five and a half weeks since hitting the ground to starting a business. My friends have been super supportive, making the process a lot easier. Had I tried this alone I'd be up shit's creek without a paddle.

I've met with a couple of architects to get construction cost estimates, and have gotten a shipping logistics provider lined up to deliver the equipment I'm ordering from the U.S. So it's time to make some pesos!

I expect to open on November 1st. Here are some pics of the "box," and of course you're all welcome to train here when you visit...




Not in Kansas Anymore.

In a stark reminder that Bogota, and Colombia, are still somewhat rough around the edges, several explosive devices (read "M-80 firecrackers") detonated around the city, including two in the north. I was near one of the locations at the time of the detonation, but didn't hear or see anything. A friend of mine told me about the terrorist acts, and warned me to stay away from the shopping centers because the police suspected more devices existed. The people here were genuinely afraid, and the girl I was supposed to go out with Thursday night postponed until next week. So whoever was responsible just made an enemy of me.

If you're really interested, here's a link to the story:
http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-10/25/content_10249495.htm
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5gxuvWXyV9lLIZ9eOvgJO5EOnhmwwD940EHO80

Red Tape, Colombian-style.

I had my first experience with Colombian bureaucracy this week when I visited a Notary to get some documents notarized related to my new business. It is an interesting process that looks something like the flowchart on the right.

To summarize, the process goes something like this:

1. Get in line
2. Give documents to lady behind counter
3. Give proof of ID to the lady behind the counter
   
4. Sign documents
5. Give thumbprints in ink adjacent to signatures
6. Take receipt
7. Get in another line
8. Pay guy in a little box
9. Get another receipt
10. Go back in line to the first lady
11. Give her the second receipt
    
12. Wait
13. Wait
    
14. Wait
15. Receive documents

Efficiency is not Colombia's specialty, but at least I got done what needed to get done.

Good News.

While most people think that Colombia is the land of drug lords, civil war and kidnappings, the reality is quite different. Sure, there were the small explosions this week causing about a dozen minor injuries, but overall security, at least in Bogota, is solid. I tend to think that the popular Hollywood notion of Colombia provides an excellent smoke screen to establish business activities while others still debate doing business here. Being here early I think will pay off in the long-term.

And today, two major stories crossed the newswires:

1. Colombians discover 10 TONS of cocaine being readied to ship to Mexico
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5h8ZSyZyY4pg6cLy2NxdfMRaD1y7QD942FELO0

2. A former Congressman was released after 8 years of captivity from FARC
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7691507.stm

My point is that there really seems to be a drive towards stability, security and peace here. And if the government can keep the economy stable, or at least somewhat stable, in light of the global economic meltdown currently in progress, then I think within 24 months many will see that Colombia is a place that offers tremendous opportunities. My goal, is to have already positioned myself with several successful businesses to exploit that influx of people and capital.

End of the Beginning

Clear skies!


A somewhat rare occurrence in Bogota, seemed to be foreshadowing my future here. This week marked my last week in La Macarena, and the impending launch of my gym and my moving into a new apartment. Finally, I can begin to have some semblence of a normal life!

I hate Roosters!


As I've mentioned, I've been living in La Macarena, on the cheap, as I get all the pieces in place to launch my business and find an apartment. One item that I've forgotten to mention is that I do not need to set my alarm thanks to a rooster somewhere in the surrounding vicinity. Unfortunately, this rooster likes to sound off at around 3:00am every day! The sun is not up, sometimes the moon is not even out, but this damn rooster is hellbent on letting everyone in the neighborhood know when it's 3:00am. At this point, I'm convinced that there is more than one rooster at work. And today, I think I've finally figured out where this rooster, or gang of roosters, is hiding out.


After sitting at the window for about a half hour, I am almost certain that the sounds originated from that area to the northwest of my location. Too bad I couldn't get a visual, otherwise I would have bought a BB gun yesterday to teach that cock a lesson!

And who sells BB guns you ask? Why, this human hedgehog fellow to the right. I went to another Canal Street-like part of Bogota today with my friend Jurgen and his son. His son needed to buy some toy weaponry for his Halloween costume, so we stumbled upon this little shop where Sonic was selling very real looking BB guns. They had sniper rifles, automatics and pistols. One of these bad boys would have come in real handy had I actually seen the rooster.

Crossing the Street.

While I desperately hope the rooster follows the chicken's lead, and attempts to cross the street only to be plowed under by a busetta, I do want to retouch on the whole crossing the street thing. I've mentioned applying frogger-like tactics to cross the highway, but I haven't mentioned normal streets. Most streets don't have "walk/don't walk" type signals. Some do. Some don't. Which begs the question, why? Well, I've stopped asking because no one knows. Instead, pedestrians and drivers disregard all known traffic customs and apply an anarchic approach to negotiating the roadways.

Moving on up...

My time in La Macarena has finally come to an end. No more Transmilenio. No more busettas. No more cold showers or long, sleepless nights at the sounds of stray dogs or those damn roosters! While at nearly $350 for the month La Macarena sure was living on the cheap, it was too inconvenient for me to last any longer. This coming week I expect to move into my, my very own, apartment in the north centrally located between all of my friends, the location of my gym and all the places we hang out.

All in all I think the experience was a very good one. I have a much more profound appreciation for the comforts and conveniences I've been afforded in my life, and will no longer take them for granted.

Who Cares if There's No Free Lunch?

As I rode the Transmilenio the other day, I looked out the window to my right and was presented the following proposition in no uncertain terms:

I mean, if that picture isn't worth a thousand words, I'm not sure what is. I haven't a clue as to validity of the sign's claim, but it definitely has shock value. It is clear, concise and doesn't bullshit around.

Double Takes.

Now, I've seen some pretty funny stuff since coming here, but this week I've seen a few things that made me stop, shake my head, and take a second look.


Example 1: Addidas?
At first, my friend and I couldn't believe an athletic Addidas shirt was only $7. But upon closer inspection, we discovered that the brand was not quite what it had appeared to be.





Example 2: Ferrari?
This one is my personal favorite. How can you go wrong, it's a Ferrari, right? Wrong. It's a Forrari!





And this one speaks for itself. A priceless original...

Colombian Time.

I've already bashed the quality of the service industry in Colombia, but I haven't touched on another aspect of Colombian culture, a complete lack of punctuality. Being on time is something that only a handful of Colombians I've met actually ever do. When someone says 8pm, they really mean closer to 9pm. And scheduling a meeting at 2pm means that by 2:20pm you can actually expect everyone to be there. And in some cases, like as with my students on some occassions, they just outright fail to show up at all.

Heaven.

But there is one place that bucks the trends of bad service, punctuality and exceeding expectations no matter how high you set them. A place that I've mentioned before, but for which no words, pictures or videos can do justice. This place is Andres Carnes de Res, and if you visit here I'll be sure we hit this adult Disneyland on a Saturday night for an aguardiente-induced night of amazement. This past Saturday was spectacular as I finally met the girl that I've been trying to meet since my birthday back on August 23rd. Known only as "the hot chick" until last night, I've seen her at Andres every Saturday I've gone, every Saturday in the park when we do our outside CrossFit WOD and even once on the street. And now I not only know her name, but also know her digits!

But first things first -- apartment, company and then girls!

It's official

This visit to Colombia now marks the longest amount of time I've been out of New York City, other than college. My previous record for longest vacation I ever took was 2 weeks, a mere 14 days.

Wrong side of the bed.

This week got off to a bad start. As usual, I was out and on my way towards the airport at 5:30am to teach English to the petroleum executive. Upon arriving at the security gate, I was greeted by his assistant who said, "Hello Teacher. I have a message that he cannot do class today. He is called to a meeting at the other building."

Just great! I left her my mobile number, and received a call from my student later apologizing, and telling me that he would have to cancel most of this week's classes because of meetings and to pack for their move to a building up north. But we were a "go" for Tuesday's class, then off until next Wednesday.

The weather Tuesday morning was downright awful. Rainy, cold, perfect commuting weather especially when you only have a couple pairs of shoes, and weren't bright enough to bring your boots. Care package time! I arrive to class wet, cold, feet soaked through. We get on with the lesson, and my student informs me he will tell me where the new office is next Tuesday. I'm so glad I won't have to go back to that office. On the way back I enjoyed a muddy transversal of the highway to catch a bus only to become soaked even more thoroughly.

Unlucky Horseshoes.


While visiting an apartment, I noticed that a horseshoe hung over the front door was upside down. I figured it must had tipped over since the apartment was vacant. The apartment was terrible anyway. But it was probably the 12th or 13th apartment I'd seen, and I was starting to get down about finding a suitable place to live within my price range.

We then went to meet with the owner of a building I thought would be perfect for the gym. The price was amazing, the location fantastic so I thought we were in good shape. Now, a few days earlier when we called the broker, I noticed a person peering out a window of the second floor. But I could only see the top of the person's head, basically from the nose up - it was Kilroy! When we met the owner, my hopes were dashed in a flash. It turns out the owner lives on the second floor with his mother, and that they have lived there for 30+ years. They would leave cars in the front yard occasionally during the day. But once I told them I'd be having music blaring during classes at 5am it was a "no go." Now, what was funny was as we left I spotted Kilroy in the same spot!

I noticed more upside-down horseshoes there, four actually, and even more in another apartment we visited. I mentioned to my friend that an upside down horseshoe is bad luck. I explained that it was supposed to be up, to hold the luck in, and that when it's upside down the luck goes away and it becomes unlucky. The response I got was, "oh, that helps explain Colombia."
As we drove around looking for storefronts "se arrienda," my mood soured as we stopped at several excellent potential spots to learn they were either scheduled for demolition, or already rented. The whole day was miserable, rainy, cold, which just added to my frustration. I was beginning to think it would be a long time before I found a suitable gym space, let alone somewhere I can call "home."

No bull!

I got to sleep in Wednesday since I didn't have class, which was wonderful. If sleeping on a piece of wood with a pillow less than 1" thick can yield a wonderful sleeping experience. Nonetheless, I got much needed rest. I awoke to bright blue sky with scattered puffy white clouds. As I looked out the window, I noticed some people stirring in the bullfighting ring below.

They were practicing bullfighting! Awesome! I've never seen a real bullfight before, but I can say I've now seen a matador taunt a guy with a wheelbarrow-like object fitted with bullhorns. I wonder what that guy must have been thinking? "I'm a freakin' bull?! What did I do wrong in life? And I hate the color red, it reminds me of my mortgage and credit card debt. That matador's a jerk for waving that cape in front of me reminding me of my financial problems. I'm gonna plow that stupid jackass over. Charge!"

Anyway, now I can check that off my list of things to see before I die!

My guardian angel.

My friend was joking that I must have a guardian angel watching over me down here because of how much support I've gotten in my efforts to get situated. But she said, "she must have gone on vacation this week." We then arrive at an apartment we called about the day before, which turned out to fit my needs on paper. We visited, and the place was amazing. The price was right, the locale was right.

The broker was on time, and attentive, rare qualities here. My friend asked about possible storefronts, and the broker said he did have a property by Parque 93, which is an amazing
neighborhood with offices, apartments and restaurants surrounding a beautful park. We arrived at a former bar, located about 25 meters from the edge of the park. The place was perfect, but we expected a steep price tag. When we heard the price we couldn't believe our ears. The marketing value alone of being on the park was priceless. I told my friend, "Hit the Bid!"

As we drove away, my friend commented, "I think your guardian angel is back, and it's a woman, and she is in love with you."

We met with the broker again the next day to hammer out terms, which continued into Friday. So, I am now expecting to have a home, and to open the gym, on or about November 1st. What a week!

Beatdowns - Served up daily.

Well, after the first week of trying CrossFit workouts, my friends are all addicted. They drank the kool-aid, and love it. The blog for CrossFit Bogota is up and running at crossfitbogota.blogspot.com. The trainers at the local gyms watch me with my friends with contempt as they must know they are about to lose a lot of clients. The workouts I conduct draw attention from both other gym-goers and their trainers. On Saturday and Sunday we decided to take the show outside, and on Saturday in Parque Virrey a number of onlookers and passers-by watched with confused interest. On Sunday, we braved cold, rainy conditions at Club Rincon, my friend's country club, where they had a similar outdoor set-up for us to use. There, members, their children and the staff watched wondering why a bunch of crazies would workout for 20+ minutes while getting wet and muddy. The guerilla marketing efforts to promote CrossFit Bogota has now moved beyond the gyms, and into the streets.

Shirt? Shoes? Still no service.

One thing I've come to grips with is the amazing poor quality of service at restaurants, bars, well, just about everywhere. But one example this week simply amazed me. I had a teaching seminar where one experienced English teacher shared pointers with the rest of us. I could have skipped it, but figured, what the hell? Anyway, the seminar was from 1-3pm, and snacks and drinks were to be served. Well, an hour into the seminar, we took a break. A few minutes later they emerged with tiny cups of coffee called "tinto." Food? Water? Nope. Though, as we re-entered the seminar we were told, "we're going to get empenadas. Who wants chicken? meat? veggie?" So with excruciating hunger, we got back to the seminar. At about 2:30, food arrives, along with some beverages. However, rather than serve them, they sit in the back of the room. I motion to one of the employees to pass the bags, and she just smiles and waves, but does nothing! The seminar ends at 3pm, and that's when we finally get to eat the cold empenadas! Luckily, those suckers hold in heat pretty well. I scarfed down five in about 2 minutes.

Central Park.

Bogota has numerous parks, and my host family's father is the manager of one of the city's major parks. I have to admit, the park was quite amazing. The parks were incredible, and from certain vantage points you would not have known you were in a city.



I forgot the name of the Park, but it is a triangular park featuring several man made ponds and a library, and it is located next to Simon Bolivar. If you visit Bogota, I highly recommend checking these parks out. I had no idea parks like this existed in Bogota, but I am glad I know about them now.

It's a small world after all.

My friend Lucho is back in Bogota this weekend, and after a torturously late night on Thursday night featuring every afterhours night spot, he invited me to a dinner celebrating his friends' engagement, which happened to be down in La Macarena. Literally two blocks for where I'm staying. Finally, I'd go out locally!

I meet a bunch of the people there, a great bunch, mostly Colombians living in Miami. Although I met the fiance's brother, who similarly left the world of finance earlier this summer (he left Lehman Brothers in July - damn good timing), to move back to Bogota. He and I have similar mindsets, and recognized the massive opportunities here. And then Lucho introduced me to a girl named Divina that looked familiar. She said, "you look familiar, we've met somewhere..." which is when I cut her off saying "New Years in Crans Montana." Stunned, she said, "oh my god, that's right." She lives in Miami, is friends with a bunch of my high school friends from New York and it turns out is friends with Lucho as well in Miami. Another friend from the States, Brodie, who hasn't been in town the last few weeks drops in for a drink as well. He happens to live two blocks from where I'm staying in La Macarena.

As Colombians may just be the warmest people on the planet, I was invited to the engagement party in Usaquen Saturday night. How could I say no? They rented Cinema Paradiso, in the neighborhood of Usaquen for 200 or so guests. Cool place, where a slide show of photos played while Mariachis did their number on the mezzanine, it was quite a scene.

Holiday!

Colombia, I've come to learn, has quite a few holidays, especially Mondays. My friends tell me that there are 12 Monday's off, which makes 3-day vacations to the coast quite popular. This Monday is one of those holidays. Unfortunately, I don't get to go on vacation as I still have a long way to go before being totally settled in. Before I start visiting other parts of the country, I need to make sure I secure the lease for my apartment, and get the business off the ground. But, I'll gladly welcome a Monday where I get to sleep in. Since we didn't get to go to Andres last night, perhaps tonight we'll have to go since no one is working on Monday.

Week Two

Hablan Ingles!
As I mentioned, I have a gig teaching English to an executive at a major industrial and energy company here in Bogota. My student is a family guy, mid 40s, with four children. Every morning at 6:00am, I meet with him to "teach English" (help him improve his English speaking and comprehension skills for an hour and a half). He has a pretty good grasp of the English language already, and his dream is to go to New York City. The lesson books are a little strange, and since I've got zero teaching experience the lessons are a bit ad hoc -- some work from the textbooks, and some conversation. In particular, conversations range from my student asking, "Why did you leave New York City to come to Colombia?" (as if I made some horrible mistake) to telling me about his favorite musicians such as Green Day, Metallica and Coldplay.

Commuting Suicide
Now, the meetings take place at my student's corporate offices, which are near the airport. An inconvenient location to say the least. So, at 5:30am every weekday, I walk down the hill from Plaza del Torros in La Macarena to the "bus stop" (more on this in a moment) across the street from some colonial looking church. I use the term "bus stop" loosely because the bus does indeed stop, but there is no real method to taking the bus. The method of taking a bus is combination of hailing a taxi and spinning a globe to pick a vacation destination. Sure, the buses have signs that say where they're going, generally, but there are no set stops or entry points. Instead, you hop, quite literally, onto a bus as it slows to a stop wherever you are standing. You wave your hand at the driver once you can make out the locations listed on the sign in the front window, and 1 out of 2 times, depending on how crowded the bus is or how fast the driver is going, the bus stops and you can get on. The buses are cheap, about $0.50, but they look like they should be far less. Quite often, the driver pulls away leaving people struggling to balance, hanging on for dear life while they pass the fare to the driver who provides change as well. Most buses have a turnstyle, which adds to the fun, as you can be on the stairs either waiting to go through the turnstyle or stumbling through it with the bus doors open behind you as the driver pulls away. Because of my height, I often find myself standing in the stairwell with an open door behind me. It makes for quite an exillerating thrill ride. Parachuting? Nah, try a bus in Bogota!

But the most fun part is the return trip when I have to cross an eight lane highway, divided into four sections of what appears to be two lanes each. I leave the front gate of the office complex, and just like Frogger, time when to cross to the next divider safely as cars, buses, trucks and motorcycles whiz bye. My favorite part is at divider three, when the path ends, and then picks up again about 10 meters to the west. So not only do you have to cross the traffic, but also you have to angle to get onto the path or face hopping a highway divider fence. I opt for the angle method. At least I'm usually not the only one scurrying across the highway.

Once across the highway, it's a simple matter of figuring out which bus to take to return, and then getting off in a familiar location before the bus takes a turn for God knows where.

Weather.
But nothing adds to the commuting fun like the morning weather. Usually, it either rains or a thick dew sets in to make everything moist and the air humid. Rain is especially fun because of the terrific puddles that develop on the roads because of all the potholes and shoddy infrastructure. Thus, when walking curbside along the highway, it is an absolute necessity to stay as far from the actual curb as possible because drivers don't make an effort to avoid creating a tsunami for pedestrians.

In Bogota, they say you will experience all four seasons in a single day. I didn't believe that when I was told this, but having experienced it for two straight weeks I can attest to its accuracy. The rain can be the most frustrating as it is usually so light that an umbrella offers no comfort. And when the rain is heavy, there is no staying dry. But when the sun comes out the sun feels incredible, and its strength in the thin mountain air of Bogota is awesome.

Cold Showers.
While my current living situation with the Johnsons is cheap, and friendly, I'm growing tired of cold showers, doors that do not close all the way due to warping and having to head back to La Macarena, which is far from all my friends and work, each night after dark where the Johnsons don't have wifi. So essentially when I get "home" I have no option but to sleep no matter how much I might still have to do. So, I now forgo the morning shower and head straight out to teach, after my bus adventure hop onto the Transmilenio, walk 5-6 blocks to Diletto Cafe to use their wifi to do some work and finally head to the gym for a workout and hot shower.

Intro to CrossFit.
After proving that one person can become a circus act at a local gym by performing some CrossFit routines, I recruited a few friends who wanted to try the workout out for themselves. So, myself and four friends - two buddies, one of their wives (hot isn't the word) and a fitness model. I met the fitness model a day or two earlier when she said, "I like your workout," and it turns out she was friends with my friends. Needless to say, the two women were attention grabbers, and the workout required these four poor souls to run around the gym to use three separate pieces of equipment to complete a workout in the fastest time possible. They finished, and were all exhausted after 15-20 minutes of work. The problem was that the gym we went to is poorly laid out and the lack of equipment allowed them to rest as bottlenecks materialized at certain equipment.

I'm getting close to finding a location to open the gym, and think the demand is here to really hit it out of the park.

Canal Street?
My friends took me to a place at the northern border of Bogota called San Andresito. It was as if someone took Canal Street, put a roof over it and replaced all the Chinese and Korean people hocking goods with Colombians. The place was gigantic, and is a black market-ish "free trade zone" where you can find great deals on clothing, shoes, snacks, electronics, movies, video games and all sorts of random goodies at a steep discount to retail prices. Though, to buy electronics down here is a waste since even without taxes and tarriffs the prices are still far higher than in the United States. Still, there are good values to be had.

Apartment.
I've identified one apartment of the 15 or so I've seen as a winner. That is primarily because my favorite apartment was snatched from me by the Venezuelan government looking for an apartment for two of their people. But, I am sticking to my guns and my budget, and while one broker showed me two beautiful apartments I refuse to spend more than I have planned. Hopefully I'll get out of La Macarena sooner than later as the daily commute to the north is such a drain. Perhaps if some friends lived in the area I'd consider staying, but virtually all I do and know is in the north hence my need to move.