Manana... manana...

Lost.

Ok. So I wasn't on a desert island after a plane crash these last two weeks resulting in my not updating the blog. But the past two weeks were, um, colorful. The most fun part was on Friday, 7 Nov, when I lost my passport and cell phone after a workout in Parque Virrey. So, for about a week I was virtually cut off from communications, only accessible via e-mail when I returned to my friend's apartment since I didn't feel like lugging my laptop around everywhere. Getting a phone replaced is no easy task here in Colombia, so I decided to unlock my blackberry and just get a Comcel SIM Card rather than buy another blackberry. And it still took a week to get a SIM Card!

Losing my passport sucks. I had to visit the embassy and report that I lost my passport. From what I understand, a US Passport has tremendous value on the black market here so the odds of some good semeritan returning my passport to the embassy was highly unlikely. The US Embassy here is a fortress in the middle of nowhere. Now, I knew it was in the middle of nowhere, but I didn't realize where nowhere was until I had the bright idea to walk from the Embassy to the Transmilenio rather than take a taxi. Rather than walk nearly an hour, I could have hopped in a cab, paid $5 and been back up north in 10 minutes. Lesson learned.

But it wasn't all bad news these last two weeks.

After nearly four weeks of going back and forth with the brokers on the local and the apartment, we finally had a breakthrough on Friday, 7 Nov, the same day I lost my passport and phone. They notified me that my codeudor was approved, and that they will finally rent me the apartment! Of course, that wasn't as straightforward as it sounds.

And my former roommate, Velaria (baby daughter of my friends Marco and Paula), gorged herself on a breadstick and proceeded to pass out. Immediately after I snapped this photo, her eyes popped open as if asking "who the fuck just took a picture of me sleeping with bread on my face?" Marco and Paula were gracious enough to let me crash for the last week and a half while I was sorting out the final nonsense with the brokers to rent my apartment. Valeria is probably the happiest baby I've ever encountered, and has some of the funniest expressions ever.

Efficiently inefficient.

One thing that continues to prove true time and time again is that Colombia is incredibly inefficient in many things. Whether it is trying to rent an apartment, or simply receiving bread to go with the olive oil placed on your table before a meal, Colombia often leaves you scratching your head asking "Why?"

As an example, the brokers said they approved me to rent the apartment, but the contract wasn't ready until Wednesday. I expected to sign the contract, and pay a prorated fee for the month of November. But of course I got one last surprise. At the last moment they threw a new fee at me - "Derecho de Contracto," which is essentially a fee for the lawyer to draft the agreement. While their nickel and diming me really pissed me off, I was so tired and frustrated by the whole process that I told them this new fee was total bullshit, and reluctantly paid it and signed the lease just to bring everything to a close.

And the apartment, while clean, had some issues like a blown bulb in the master bathroom, installed surround sound speaker wires that had no central origination point and a few other items. During the move in inspection I told the, "this (the blown bulb) needs to be replaced, an apartment is supposed to be turned over in perfect working condition." The broker responded by saying replacing the bulb was my responsibility. Come on!

At one of the nicer Italian restaurants, a friend and I sat down for lunch and were quickly greeted by a pleasant waitress who placed a plate on the table and poured some olive oil into it, and ground a bit of pepper as well.

That plate sat there for 10 minutes all by itself. Alone, collecting to one side because of the slightly off-balance table, waiting patiently for bread that would never come. The waitress, and other staff walked by, looking at the table, but never seemed to notice "hey, where's the bread to go with that olive oil?" Instead, my friend and I watched as other tables received baskets of bread, while we started joking. Finally, another waitress came by and she asked if we would like any bread.

After lunch, while walking down the street, we noticed something that absolutely amazed my friend and I. A garage that had stairs rather than a driveway! I don't even know how to even try to explain this one.

The Embassy is open!

On Thursday I got the keys to the apartment and moved it. The embassy is now open in Bogota. And none too soon as my first visitors - Tony and Mario, arrived on Friday. The apartment currently has two airbeds, towels, sheets and some food, but it lacks a refrigerator, washing machine and any furniture other than a few plastic lawn chairs left in the backyard. I'll begin to furnish the apartment when I return from Thanksgiving. For now I can live another few days sleeping on an airbed.

What I didn't realize was how cold the apartment got at night. Mario pointed out how cold it was, and illustrated it, when he emerged from one of the guest rooms fully clothed saying that is how he slept. So on Saturday he offered a housewarming gift of duvets or space heaters. We couldn't find space heaters hence he bought two duvets, which were well worth the investment.

The apartment has a balcony, fireplace, laundry room, three bedrooms (one used as an office), and a 50 square meter private terrace. The terrace will be the initial home of CrossFit Bogota, as some friends have encouraged me to train people on the terrace and in Parque Virrey (at the end of my block) to build up a client base before starting to spend money on renting a local (storefront).

Host.

I find it pretty amazing that a mere seven weeks after arriving in Bogota, I am already playing the role of host for visitors. My spanish is still suspect, though improving fast, but with the help of a solid group of friends who have helped me get situated very fast I have in fact become a local.

Anyway, Friday night, Tony, Mario and I went for dinner and drinks at Salto del Angel on Parque 93. The night started with decent food, a festive atmosphere and deafening music. We then went over to Alma, which was packed and pretty fun, but the ultimate destination was Maroma. Maroma (right) is the club that has a retractable roof, and is by far the hottest spot in Bogota.

As luck would have it, I lost the number of the "hot chick" which was lost when I lost my phone. But while at Maroma I turned around to see her standing immediately behind me. The first words out her mouth were, "hey! I tried contacting you but I didn't get any responses. I'm so drunk." Sounded good, until I realized she was there with some Colombian Senator. What followed was an awkward session of exchanged glances and dancing as she was clearly not wanting to be with the Senator, but at the same time couldn't just ditch him to hang with me.

No matter, as I met another hottie named Maria Paula. I ran into her in the bathroom when she was checking her hair, and I told her she looked perfect. We then ended up hanging out at the same corner of the bar in Maroma where we danced and talked. At least, I listened and did my best to speak Spanish since it turned out she doesn't speak English.

The next night we headed off to Andres Carne de Res, a place that, as I've said before, has no equal anywhere in the world. And is a place that no words, photos or movies can do justice. We arrived on a rainy Saturday night, and I decided that since it was Mario's birthday next week, we would celebrate it at Andres. He was made Honores de la Casa, crowned and presented a ceramic birthday cake. The night was a classic. Tony made one fatal error - switching from Absolut Mandarin and Jugo de mandarin to Mandarino cocktails. It was a raucous evening...



Thanksgiving.

I'm heading back to the States for the first time since Sept 20th. I'll be in NYC for about a week, returning to Bogota on the 28th. I then get to buy furniture, start generating revenues through CrossFit Bogota's official opening and prepare for the next wave of visitors on December 6th when Alejo (my original host here) and Andy arrive. Should be one for the ages.